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The Drummer Drives! Everybody Else Rides is a biography of Harry Brabec's musical life and her memories about her unusual life journey with him.

Sample the first two chapters of the book and read its many glowing five-star reviews on Amazon.

Selected Books for
Widows, on

The ABCs of Widowhood

by Pat Nowak

Book: Finding the Way Back to Joy

Awakening from Grief: Finding the Way Back to Joy by Dr. Wayne Dyer 

book: Finding Your Way After Your Spouse Dies

Finding Your Way After Your Spouse Dies

by Marta Felber

Book: Getting to the Other Side of Grief
Getting to the Other Side of Grief: Overcoming the Loss of a Spouse
by Susan J. Zonnebelt-Smeenge, & Robert Devries

Grieving the Loss of Someone You Love: Daily Meditations to Help You Through the Grieving Process
by Ray Mitsch & Lynn Brookside


Book: Healing a Spouse's Grieving Heart Healing a Spouse's Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas After Your Husband or Wife Dies
by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.
Book: How to Go On Living when Someone You Love Dies

How To Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies

by Therese A. Rando

Book: I'm Grieving As Fast As I Can
I'm Grieving As Fast As I Can: How Young Widows and Widowers Can Cope and Heal
by Linda Sones Feinberg; 
Book: Instantly a Widow

Instantly a Widow by Ruth Sissom

When There Are No Words:
Finding Your Way to Cope with Loss and Grief
When There Are No Words: Finding Your Way to Cope With Loss and Grief by Charlie Walton 

The Thoughts and Advice
of a New Widow

A Series of Uplifting Articles for 
Widows and Others Who Have Lost,
or May Soon Lose, Someone They Love

by Barbara Brabec

[Harry's Memorial Pages]

2012-2013. Eight Years and Counting . . . Barbara did eBook editions of her memoir in 2012, and in 2013, she is writing new eBooks, some of which will feature her life adventures with Harry. The first in this series is A Few Choice Words.

May, 2010.  Five years into the Journey
Barbara decided the time was right to finally write the most important book of her life: the story of her life's journey with Harry (see left). Little did she know when she began this book in November 2009, shortly before her fifth anniversary as a widow, that the writing and self-publication of it would change her life. Now widows can journey with her by reading her memoir, The Drummer Drives! Everybody Else Rides and learn what she learned as she explored her late husband's life in a way she never imagined she would, or could. After you read the book's page on this site, click over to the book's companion website and read Barbara's post, "Knowing Someone Like a Book."

"In researching and writing this book, I learned many new things about Harry that not only made me laugh, but were so uplifting that I found myself falling in love with him all over again."

BELOW, The original series of articles ...

April, 2005: The Survivor's Life Jacket
Now a widow for three months, Barbara shares her most personal feelings and the coping strategies she used to help her get past the initial shock of losing her husband, Harry, after nearly 44 years of marriage. This inspirational article includes widow resources, personal photos, and perspective on things everyone could do to prepare for the loss of a loved one or commemorate their memory afterwards.

This first article in this series touched the hearts of many readers. Read their special supportive comments HERE.

June, 2005: The Grieving Process
Barbara reports on her conversations with widows and others who have lost loved ones, discussing why it's a mistake to try not to remember because it hurts too much, or to feel guilty for being able to laugh without your loved one. This uplifting report includes a new shot of Harry's Humor and how he is still making Barbara laugh even though he's gone, as well as more photos of Barbara's sweet little cat who is giving her lots of joy and comfort.

February 2006: One Year Into the Journey
Barbara shares her thoughts and feelings after her first year of widowhood, discussing the gains she has made, the emotional problems she continues to deal with, and what she has been doing in the past six months to help her get back into "work mode" and resume a normal life routine. This report includes the experiences of two other widows, plus inspirational quotes and resources for widows. Part II of this article, which discusses Writing as Therapy, explains how journaling and letter writing can help one release pent-up emotions during the grieving process. (Includes links to a host of related books and articles on the Web.)

[Back to the latest posts]

"Love is eternal; it transcends even death. Although the person died, the love did not. Nothing can take away the love that you shared, ever. And nothing can take away the love that you continue to feel."
   - Ashley Davis Prend, author of Transcending Loss (see books column, left).

"No one wants grief. Yet when it comes, it is too costly to be wasted. Sorrow must be put to good use. That's true whether we are mourning the loss of a loved one, a loss of health, or any other tragic reversal. If the energy of mourning can be translated into some positive change, there can be a feeling that the suffering or loss was not in vain."
    - from RBC Ministries "Discovery Series" booklet, Where Can We Find Comfort?

"Death ends a life, not a relationship. It struggles on in a survivor's mind toward some resolution which it may never find." - Words spoken by Gene Hackman at the end of the movie, "I Never Sang for my Father." 




Copyright © 2000-2013
by Barbara Brabec
All Rights Reserved
Barbara Brabec's World